Sarah Johnson

Wait what?

2010-08-10T15:41:00.000-07:00

I have missed myself. It ´s been 2 long. Let´s say I´ve been asleep. Asleep/deadn´gone. Just around the corner. You can find me elsewhere.

Anyways kids. A boy. There is a boy. Breathing so fast every time. So fast. Perhaps he´s scared. I hope so. He should be. He is getting close. I have a t-t-tendency to run. I´ll let you know. I´ll even show you.
Ssswedish

weddings

2010-06-19T07:36:00.000-07:00

A boy told me yesterday I looked like Marie Antoinette on blow. When I pointed out that I had been drinking wine and done a lot of opium that night he corrected himself and told me I was just like M. I do feel a bit beheaded right now I must say - well deserved.

listen

2010-06-06T14:52:00.000-07:00

It seems maybe you don´t understand me. I´m not afraid of love, I just don´t wan´t it.

I´m not a girlfriend.

I sometimes don´t sleep in my own bed 4 a week and I don´t want anyone at home who makes me feel guilty over that. I don´t need a boy. I need boys. Reöationships does not work.

excuse my spelling I´ve had a Jack.

f it

2010-06-04T01:41:00.000-07:00

"I love you"

How can any boy in any way destry a relationship faster than saying the 3 words?
I push him off me and tumble out the door. Never mind my shoes or my phone. It`s dangerous back there, cant return. He is dangerous hazard.

You don´t love me- u love the thought of me in your old clothes smoking in the window. Love the thought of maybe you are the boy who can fix me. Make me eat. Make me convinced wine is not breakfast. You won´t be able 2. I won´t sit in your window like a girl in a movie. I will jump.

2010-05-29T03:00:00.000-07:00

My legs feel broken and I can´t stand up no matter how hard I try. 4 some reason, as Jason and I was on our way out, he thought it was a good idea 4 me 2 drive. I don´t drive. One thing 2 another= I hit a bunny. I hit a fuckin bunny with my car. In anger I decided 2 walk home, mad at every automobile on this planet. Ergo My lags can´t keep me up, and my heart can´t stop aching.

bare with me I´m tired.

Vegas baby

2010-05-23T02:42:00.000-07:00

I feel like taking a roadtrip. Top down, Journey from the speakers, denim shorts and raybans. Where do I go? Vegas perhaps.

I slept with a certain E.Hirsch last time I was there. Haha, I remember sitting on his back looking down on it, and how I put a needle through his shoulder just 2 see how he would react. He reacts by bleeding and getting mad I tell u.

Dark Was the night.

2010-05-19T02:39:00.001-07:00

Drinking wine in a black dress feels so much more justified than anything else. Cheap wine in jeans makes me want to puke. Expensive wine wearing nothing makes me melancholic. Plum wine in a black dress makes me feel like Anaïs Nin. Givenchy silc and McQueen skull. Ryan, Nick and Signe here in person. Belle and Miri here in spirit. A good hour.

wasn´t even good.

2010-05-16T02:25:00.000-07:00

I´ve done a lot of things that i have regretted afterwards. When the bumb in ur head hurts and the bumb on your belly hurts even more.

But then there are these things that I regret while doing them.
"Why don´t I just stop now and save myself the shame?"
But I move in closer and I breathe heavier.
"I´ll deal with the shame tomorrow. I don´t have anything else planned anyways."
Might as well fill the day with something. Fill it with questions why.

So. 4 you all. My tat.

2010-05-12T09:55:00.000-07:00

INK

2010-05-11T14:29:00.000-07:00

I´m lost without darkblue and lightblue. Ask me what I did 2day.

- what did u do 2day.
- i got a tattooooo

I´ll show you later when it´s not a black nasty gue on me. Now 4 an hour of sleep. I can´t sleep at night. Why oh why do the builders use the hammer all night long?

3rd grade religion. God is three.

2010-05-10T10:44:00.000-07:00

The Father***The son***The holy Spirit.

How can that be. I remember I was very confused. Either u have long hair or u have short hair. It´s not that hard. You know what you are and what you like and that´s you.

Now, a few years later I get it. I´m not sure I believe in the bible god, but I´m sure I understand the philosophical way of looking at it. You are you. And then there is the one you would wish you could be. Still you, but skinnier, braver, smarter. U know. And then there is your ideal you. If you´re tall this ideal is often short. If you´re pale she is dark and if you´re shy she´s a stripper. We are all three. I spill myself out in this blog, leaving myself as wine stains on your carpets. My two moleskins are where I spill my other selves.

-Oh, moleskins, how hipster.
-Yes, moleskins.

And now I have lost them. It leaves a more thoughtful Sara 4 you to bare with until I can spill those merlots where they belong.

Challenge.

2010-05-10T04:34:00.000-07:00

One post a day starting now.

I have been having such a low 4 a few weeks. Less days outside. Less sun, more snow.
Let´s start fresh.

Blackout

2010-05-05T09:56:00.000-07:00

It´s so much easier not 2 blog than it is 2 blog sometimes.
I´m spending my nights out and my days passed out. I miss Belle so much it hurts.
friggin paris.

morninevenin

2010-04-25T02:24:00.000-07:00

I didn´t sleep at home yesterday, and when I woke up my clothes were nowhere 2 be seen. Therefore yesterday I went out wearing nothing but my jacket. Nippleflash then and now when the wind grabbed the fabric. Then when I was paying 4 my conditionerandcoffeandbreadandanorange the boy in the register told me i looked i-D. I don´t know whether to laugh or cry.

Kick me hit mE

2010-04-22T10:16:00.000-07:00

Ryan and I have been spending some quality time. He isn´t really comfortable with spending time with me after I kinda left him for new york a while back.

This is 4 all boys out there;
kick me in the stomach when I steel your chips. punch me in the head if I´m better than you at fifa. Please don´t tip on your toes cause I´m a girl. I hate it.

agreed?

onehundred etthundra

2010-04-15T22:47:00.000-07:00

What is this? Post 100. Oh my.

Gratulerar Sara. Tack så mycket:)

Imma leave u for the weekend. Then I´ll come back. And love you all more then ever before.

rory come home

2010-04-12T22:46:00.000-07:00

Im off 2 dinner. Ryry, Nick and hopefully Belle.
I am really missing Rory. And also, I´m thinking about college. What do you think? I would like 2 go 2 school and learn filmmaking and everything around it. Do any of you know any good schools for this? Location is not a problem. I´m so far from home anyways, a few miles here or there makes no difference. Please help.

sweden

2010-04-06T02:40:00.000-07:00

Feeling sorry 4 myself I just took the longest bath. Hour after hour.

I took the time 2 call some swedes at home, boys and girls I haven´t talked 2 for a very long time since I´m not really the facebooker I could be, and u know what I realized? How glad I am that I left. S is still dating the boy from 8th grade though they apparently brakes up a few times a month, L was supah-exited since she finally moved 2 her own place, age 23, and F works with cars(?). What? What´s up with everybody?

Here I am, sick as a dog in my bathtub with wrinkly fingertips and all the bubbles gone. Working for Flora serving coffee, missing Rory every day, fucking different boys every weekend and hitting my head on the ceilings of underground clubs. And still, still I feel like the biggest succes in the world when I realize what I left behind.

i must quit you

2010-03-31T03:00:00.000-07:00

My hair is a birds nest on my head and I haven´t worn clothes in forever.
That´s what it´s like havin´the flue. The damn flue.

only in the night

2010-03-27T06:12:00.000-07:00

last night I spent with belle, ryan and nick. and anyone else who happened to be in my way. this is one sec before hitting my head on that ridiculously low ceiling.

worried

2010-03-24T08:29:00.000-07:00

u know what bothers me? Jackson. Not Jackson as a person, but how he´s acting.

Like how he starts breathing irregularly when I hug him or how he gets all nervous like he´s not sure where he´s allowed 2 put his hands on me. He used to be cool with assgrabbing me quickly if I stood in the way, and kicking me in the stomach when I messed up at GTA, but now he´s all careful and polite. It bothers me.

escape.

2010-03-20T02:49:00.000-07:00

You know that certain type of boy; every time you meet, you sleep together.

I understand you call them fuck buddies? Or friends with benefits? I think thats kinda misleading.
I would never call them friends.

Anyways. I met Nick last night. He makes the worst noises.

Joe Le taxi

2010-03-17T00:16:00.000-07:00

alla kära.
I´m tippin´ on my toes to avoid a moody Aurora trying my very best not 2 give her any reason to run off. I like having her here. I´m thinking about going over to Miri, just 2 check that her wine consumption is in some sort of reasonable amount. She´s been in the fog for a tad too long now.

Tomorrow is Jacksonday.

Jackson is a pretty boy, non? I´m a girl, oui? Hmmm. Nah I should not.

p ad

2010-03-13T14:23:00.000-08:00

Name; Jackson
Age; 19
Skill; Grand Theft Auto
Needs; a shag

Could any of my girls please mount Jackson.
I can´t take him dry humping me any more.

love by aurora.

2010-03-11T10:07:00.000-08:00

As I said, things can´t be unseen.

People always call Rory a doll, but looks can be deceiving darlings.

You all know I´m not a timid gurl. I´ll try everything once. But when I tumble around trying 2 find the coffee shop keys, and open the door to nipples and skin and a naked man that I (until just recently) only knew by name from mouning dreams of Aurora´s. That´s when it feels better 2 just tumble back out.

one

2010-03-10T01:49:00.000-08:00

Kinda not sure if it´s late or early. Am I very very late 4 work or should I go back 2 sleep? The contractor is changing my windows so there is cardboard covering the empty holes in the walls, making it even harder for hung-over-me 2 tell time. Aurora is sneaking round. I like having her here. She´s like a cat. Quiet and keeps 2 herself. But then occationally she cuddles up close and purrs(gives me a glass of wine and mumbles 2 the tv.) She´s good company.

Good gorgeous company .

partynight

2010-03-07T22:47:00.000-08:00

That was one hell of a party.

A few hundred yards under the W in the Hollywood sign. One bottle of Jack 4 everyone. All dressed up like crazy we forced the poor tourists 2 take pictures with us. Signe and I sang old swedish songs and Belle made out with some twenty boys only on the way there. Miri wasn´t 2 bad herself. I can´t recall if there was some sort of competition?

R came. Tried 2 get in some fight with Avy and I. Didn´t succeed and after a light push from Avy he tumbled down the hills.

It wasn´t 2 long be4 shirts came off and kisses came from everywhere. Not 2 be rude but I´m pretty sure Belle went home with Jackson. Just sayin.

It became sort of an apartment-warming 2. I got the place I wanted. Yey:) Two bedrooms, kitchen and a roommate? I can hear voices from the other room right now but I´m not sure I want 2 open and look. I know her better than that. Things can´t be unseen.

Thank u all 4 one of the best B-days ever.

ps. Kim and Signe, what was that!? ds.

Alexanders legacy

2010-03-07T09:07:00.000-08:00

B-daygift from belle. <3

sweet twenty

2010-03-05T01:22:00.000-08:00

b-day preppin´

Call in the morning?

2010-03-04T02:22:00.000-08:00

I put down an offer on a place just now. Fingers x-ed.
I´m having such a Kanye West day.

Jag kommer se tillbaka på desså år med sån ånger.

2010-03-03T01:51:00.001-08:00

Yey. Appartmenthunting is fun. Jackson followed me round all day. (He looks good dear female friends. Very good) I have calculated my savings and looked at a few places I could afford. Looks good this far. My goal is 2 find one be4 my birthday, but I´ll se how that goes. Most importanly I´ll find a place I like.

Btw. Most amazing news ever; Belle is moving here. I would have never thought she would fall for LA, she´s very very london, but here she is. Amazing.

Can you tell? Another day where I´m disturbingly happy. What´s up with me?:)

ompalompa

2010-03-02T07:31:00.001-08:00

Lovelys. How are u?

I have been working. Coffeeshoppin´ all day long every day. Nah you all know this is LA, no one orders coffee. Smoothiemakin´all day long? Now imma go look at an apartment. Wish me luck and have a wonderful day :)

i am 19 goin on 20

2010-02-28T07:03:00.000-08:00

godkväll.

It´s like, what, a week 2 my b-day? Things are all good with Avy now and I have lovely Belle with me for a few more days. Things are good 2 me. This weekend we will all dance in snow my friends. Who´s with me? Jackson is, Luke is, Avy is,Ryan is, Signe is, BB is, Kim is, Miri is, Nick is, Aurora is, Wynona is. I could go on, I´m a lucky gurl u see, but ill leave it there.

All I really wanted 2 say is I feel really happy 2day. And that, 4 my party, I´ll dress up like this girl.

doppelw

2010-02-24T22:21:00.000-08:00

Bells is going home soon she says. She won´t be here for my birthday.
So, instead, we went out 2day to find a location for it. Since I, at the moment, am a couch crasher without a place to have some sort of fiesta, we went hunting.

First stop, the liquor store.
Belle wanted plum wine. She goes nowhere without her plum wine she says.
Second stop, the hollywood sign.
2 get a good view u know. It´s a restricted area and whatnow now, so sad.

A few hundred yards below the W we parked our butts and watched the city turning dark. Day became night and we started to feel like this isn´t so bad after all. Quite all right. And just like that we had our place.

Now all I have 2 do is get the troops together.

In a hurry

2010-02-24T05:11:00.000-08:00

U know what i just realized? In a few little days I´m turning 20.

That´s so old.

If I´m going 2 go down in history I have only 4 years until I´ll have to commit suicide.
But maybe I need 2 do something memorable first?

Bffs.

2010-02-23T01:02:00.000-08:00

Signe went to Avys house 2day with a box of sweets from the coffee shop earlier. I really wanted to follow but I don´t know if that would have been the best idea. R is gone btw. This all turned out like shit.

I think I´ll go over 2 Jackson. He doesn´t even know I´m back. I miss him. The world has 2 few people who´s as uncomplicated and down-to-earth as he is. No drama. Just friendship.

Tell me. Who´s your best friend. And why?

Bloody beetroot

2010-02-21T12:18:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I think I´m gonna go look 4 a place of my own. I don´t know if it´s loyalty 2 Avy or if she is still mourning Alexander, but Miri has been quite grumpy lately. Almost never present actually. I miss her.

Ignoring the other things going on right now, things feel almost good. Coachella is coming up, and that will be amazing as always. Summer might not be the happening here that it is in the countries covered in snow 2/3 of the year, but summer is still summer. After Coachella though, my pages are almost blank. What are u all doin this summer? I need inspiration.

Love the arts.

2010-02-20T00:38:00.000-08:00

This makes me happy.

on paper street

2010-02-18T22:33:00.000-08:00

Now, when everything is upside down, and I can´t really meet my friends eyes without wondering who thinks I´m an idiot, where do I look for comfort? R. I know his name now. If that can be considered progress I´m not even sure. I should have said goodbye the minute I found out. He will be R to you all. And he is probably the last one I should turn to.

I keep thinking of the time at the party when Miri kissed Avy. Now that she reminded me, he did look awfully pale. I can´t help but wondering if I´m just some form of revenge. I really don´t know what to do. I barely know him and he already has some kind of hold on me. I feel I have no one to turn 2 since I´m what you would call the bad guy in this. I would turn 2 Miri, since her philosophy goes something like;

-Does he have good hair?
-He does.
-Does he wear sneakers?
-He does not.
Does he smoke?
-He does.
-Then what is the question meine liebe?
But I´m not sure she will be on my side this time.
Last day of work this week. Then a weekend to fill.

oh shit

2010-02-18T00:45:00.000-08:00

Damn it. I think B-actor really was a B-oyfriend.

4 in the morning he randomly passed by M´s house and threw pebbles on my window. I stole a kiss from him. Stood five inches from his face and thought "damn it where do I know you from?". Then it hit me.

And the worst thing; I´m not ready 2 let go of him, even when I have learned he belongs 2 a friend.

paul? eddie? frank?

2010-02-17T00:45:00.000-08:00

B-actor boy came by the shop earlier and invited me out for a smoke. We discussed all things of no importance there is. He´s the type of boy I really can´t help falling for, even though I understand I´m only one of so many in his life.

But here is the thing; "Adios Sarah" he threw at me when he was leaving, and I responded with a "Bye......eh....bye!". I have forgotten 2 ask his name guys! And it´s 2 far in now, it would just be weird to ask him. Quite the problem. Signe has started a giant google-investigation 2 find him. No progress so far, but she is damn determent.

So, what are your plans 4 the day friends? Noting or everything? Either way I hope u have the best one:)

Love Sjo

boys and work, boys and work

2010-02-16T09:09:00.000-08:00

First day of the job a boy walked in to the shop. I think I recognize him but I can´t place him, like so many of the B-celebs round here. Anyways, he left his phone number on a napkin on his table, like in one of the bad movies he possibly stars in, and we have been texting ever since. He such a charming boy u see. One of them you will fall 4 over and over. Like Agyness Deyn.

I´m off 2 work now. I´m really enjoying it. Long coffee brakes sitting next to Signe on the curb with a smoke in the hand, rating guys passing by on a 1-10 scale and looking for some blond woman she is determent to find. Have a lovely day all.

Be/spe-lled

2010-02-15T05:14:00.000-08:00

m and random gurl at the russian party.

Some of u asked me where I live right now. Well, since I came back I´ve been living here and there, wherever and with whom ever let´s me in. Mostly at Miri´s place. Now you know.

Back when I was 13 I spent the summer in London. Dad worked, and I spent the days running the streets, smoking cigarettes for the first time and learning english; with Belle. She taught me how to kiss a boy, how to get free beer from the drunk men at the pubs, and how to get a free ride from the cabdrivers late at night. Belle is here now, in LA 2 visit her father, and I´m going 2 meet up with her today. I´m almost nervous.

working gurl

2010-02-13T06:29:00.000-08:00

I got flowers 2day. Ignoring the fact that the person who sent them obviously didn´t pay much attention 2 the date, it was nice. I forgive, we are all in some kind of LA-fog here, where days and weeks all turn in 2 one long night. So thank you mysterious flowerperson.

And also!
I have a job now. Thank heavens 4 Signe and Flora, a 9 to 5 at a coffee shop and I couldn´t be happier. Like Signe said; we all must have anecdotes from when we worked at a coffee place later when we are famous. It´s nice 2 have someone to talk swedish 2 as well. Tack kära Signe, and thank you all with thumbs held.

belled

2010-02-11T23:07:00.000-08:00

Miri and I are trying 2 reach Belle, who should land at LAX any minute now. Miri is walking around "saluting the dead" in all the McQueen clothes she owns. Her first, His last. And I, I might have a job by the end of the day. Fingers crossed.

happyland

2010-02-11T02:34:00.000-08:00

If u have any thumbs over, please hold them for me. Today is official jobhuntingday and I need all the help I can get.

Jeans for the first time in years.

Blue

2010-02-10T01:18:00.000-08:00

I´m in desperate need of a job. My days and nights are floating together in a blur and I see less of Miri then I would have wished. Fill my days please.

Signe though she could get me a job at the coffeshop but that no sure thing. I´m feeling a bit low right now. I do blogdesigns and banners and such if you want to keep me occupied.

For free. Feel free 2 ask.

I think I saw Jackson yesterday btw. I hope.

Love SJo

Late night thoughts.

2010-02-09T04:40:00.000-08:00

Marriage is a social union or legal contract between individuals that creates kinship.

That´s what wikipedia tells me. I was talking to M about marriage and such. 2 her it´s the most non romantic thing there could ever be. She says it destroys her every chance of running away with a french man (in her mind, that is the definition of romance.)

I´m not sure yet. Speaking of marriage I slept with Spencer Pratt once. Before he had H. I don´t know why she´s so crazy bananas into him. He´s not that big of a deal I tell u. Neither way.

Whats marriage to you?

Avy

2010-02-08T04:33:00.000-08:00

I´m home. Tillbaks där jag hör hemma.

Miri met me at LAX.
Not lying Miri, u must have lost ten pounds since I left. And 4 a girl who was like ten pounds to start with that shows. You can´t live on snow only meine liebe. It felt like I would snap u right off when I hugged you.

She seemed unusually upbeat though.

- We r goin home to Avy tonight. She said.
- Who´s Avy? I asked.
- She loves plum wine almost as much as I do.
She answers, like that was all I needed to know.

Boys kissed. Girls Kissed. Miri kissed Avy and someone went home in an ambulance I think. I met a girl named Signe and she´s my new love. I did fuck a boy who was missing one tooth from a trip to alaska, but she´s my new love.

So I´m home. Or I really don´t have a home rightnow, but that´s when a Miri with an attic comes in handy.

.

2010-01-07T12:40:00.000-08:00

2009-12-31T08:47:00.001-08:00

where have i gone?

kisses

2009-12-09T07:40:00.000-08:00

Do u remember your first kiss? I do and it was more like "get it over with" then it was butterflies. He had pretty eyes though.

I need some cheering up this morning, please tell me bout yours.

its late rather than early

2009-12-04T08:53:00.001-08:00

CUNT

2009-12-03T09:27:00.000-08:00

I´m back. 4 real nao. No foolin. I believe I found that famous second wind.

I think we´re kind off a thing now btw. Me and NickDick. Not sure though, but he´s gone all ChrisBreeezy on me calling me boo. I can´t stop laughing. If you look up the word boo there is a pic of a girl in way 2 skinny jeans and a fluffy jacket. I´m so not a boo. I like to think of myself more as a chérie.

This night will be spent with M. Says she has a surprise. Uh oh.

FYI; I took the bus today. I never do that and I now remember why. 45minutes surrounded by three boys with a vocabulary containing mostly of the word cunt. Lovely boys indeed.

take care. S

mina ögon somnar nu

2009-11-29T12:24:00.001-08:00

-Who are YOU?....said the Caterpillar
-I hardly know.... Alice replied

herro lovers

2009-11-27T14:45:00.000-08:00

That was one failed thanxgiving, but then I find there´s not much to say thanks 4. Thanks 4 the end of the world in two years maybe. I spent it with M though, so she made it as uplifting as it could get.

Btw. My friend J told me the president´s spared turkey gets 2 live out it´s days in disneyworld. could this be true? enlighten me.

As u may have noticed my blog lust is way down right now, bare with me.

Big news.

2009-11-23T10:59:00.000-08:00

So, I called and accepted the offer in NY this morning. Bananas. I´ll need to get back 2 yall bout this later. Right now imma call mom.

new wardrobe filling

2009-11-16T10:42:00.001-08:00

If by shopping spree u mean picking up stuff I bought from ebay then I have been on a shopping spree today.
-What are u doing tonight then Sara?
-Well I´m spending the evening with GTA and Jackson and I´m embarrassingly exited.
-And how come posts bout Jackson always turn in to conversations with yourself?
-That I can´t answer.

have a good day kittens

FinaLLY

2009-11-15T06:19:00.000-08:00

i have a camera again. halleluja.
I´ll celebrate with a pic of my new shooooes. Now I need me some sleep.

only three years

2009-11-15T01:05:00.000-08:00

went and saw the 2012thingie. Kinda gives it another layer when it´s like

- omg they are going 2 die omg omg omg omg omg OH THATS MY HOUSE.

I think Ill go home to sweden 4 christmas 2012.

NickTheDick

2009-11-12T08:26:00.000-08:00

NickTheDick has been my company these past days. He´s good company. He´s very clever and likes to argue. Sometimes I think he disagrees with me just 2 argue. We´ve been spending most of the times in his bed discussing swine flu. He thinks it´s a scam. I saw Miri so I dont´ have to even consider that. Btw what´s this crap bout u moving to germany mir? thats so not ok. So not ok. I enjoy NickDick (in all the ways), but LA would be nothin without u. Nick is making noises over there, telling me I should return.

Fly safe birds. (no don´t fly at all mir)

Jackson

2009-11-09T08:40:00.000-08:00

Lemonadeboy is no longer lemonadeboy. Lemonadeboy is now Jackson. He has a name u see. This Jackson of whom I speak turned out to be only ninteen, and hes (sadly finnish) friend aswell.

- So how come you spent the night at a ninteen years ol´boy´s house with his finnish friend, Sara?
-I really don´t know.
- Did you have fun?
-BOY DID I.

My gosh Jackson is hilarious. I´m not sure about this thing, since he´s just a baby, but that kids like a little brother only not my brother so I dont automaticly hate him. Let´s se what future holds 4 me.

Now I´m gonna meet up Nick. It´s been ages.

out in the night

2009-11-08T03:28:00.001-08:00

good morning good night good day.

I spy with my little eye lemonadeboy outside the window. He spies me aswell. Fingerwawing at me to come out. Maybe I should. I´m not wearing pants tough, but then neither does his friend. His friend is almost as blond as I am, I wonder if hes a fake viking or a swede like me...

brb lemanadeboy.

a 100 word post

2009-11-04T10:47:00.000-08:00

I woke up in this tiny beach house, but a beach house none the less. There´s leftover party and despair shattered all around me, and a boy beside me. Awake and watching me as I drunkenly wake up. vomit on the floor. hate when people watch me sleep. That boy´s just a desperate reaction to this Ryan thing. corrected (my @ the moment toxic blond) hair with a ozone-hole amount of spray(so sorry Bono) and I´ll make my way over to Miri´s place now. Metaphorically throw my nordic ice over her forehead and strangle her with care and pity.drive safe

Guide me

2009-11-02T09:32:00.000-08:00

Okey. It´s like this.

I ran in to Audrie Patridge some days ago. All very random. U 4 sure notice when she enters a room I tell you. U gotta duck 4 her boobs or they´ll poke your eyes out, but other from that she´s real nice. If u watch hills, which you probably do, u know Justin. Justino. Justin Bobby? I dunno, he´s like diddy (Or puffy or pussy or whatevr he´s called this week). What kinda hit me is that Ry is to me what Bobby is to her. Or more like it, I´m to Ryan what Bobby is to her. I run from him when he wants me and crawl back when hes off. I confuse myself. We went to vegas 4 the weeknd you know, and he was telling me bout som bartenderwhore and i got back to jealous crawling mode. He seemed all to happy and we kinda fell in to this boyfriend/grlfriend thing thats now in action. It makes me wanna puke all this relationshipshit over him. Why cant I just let him whore off with that girl? Ah what´s all this good 4. NY can´t come soon enough.

Känner att jag måste börja skriva lite på svenska igen. Måste hålla fötterna på jorden.

What?

2009-10-29T09:35:00.000-07:00

I´m going to take a short one to Las Vegas over the weekend. With Ryan.

Don´t ask...

only in the night

2009-10-26T00:59:00.000-07:00

undergroundclubs and dark streets all night long. amen.

prom times

2009-10-25T13:30:00.000-07:00

I long 4 prom times. 4 those infamous texts.

From:Miri
Lets crash some proms and steal some virginities.

I am sorry [insert you who lives on berkely ave]

2009-10-23T10:33:00.000-07:00

After some stops at a few different house parties I got the questionable pleasure of meeting Calais. I was painfully sober, can´t say the same about her. I had this idea that being sober would help me pick a good guy 4 once. I can tell you 4 sho; that does not work! Boys are ugly when sober.

I don’t really know how, but I ended up the designated driver. I hit more stuff then I avoided though, with that big ass car. I am very sorry [insert who ever lives on berkely ave according to my questionable calculations] but I haven´t driven in so long! No wonder we didn’t even reach our final goal. Akbar is 4 pussys anyways.

Lemonade boy

2009-10-22T09:53:00.000-07:00

I totally forgot to tell you about this bizarre thing that has been nagging me ever since.

I was playing with little S on the street a few days ago. She had watched a simpsons episode and was now determent to build a lemonade stand as they apparently had done. The thing is no one on our street ever walks. It´s run run run car car car jog jog jog, so it ended up being mostly me buying it all. Then this boy came down the street. I think he introduced himself but I don´t remember his name. He apparently lives on the same street as we do, meaning he is riddiculosly wealthy and all, but he didn´t act like that. I think he is a few years younger than me, and he was very speciall in an uncommon way. A very nice boy (and totally easy on the eyes). Then he kinda pulled me to the side, after making S a few dollars richer, and he told me how he used to watch me leave the house late in (borrowed) heels and then return home barefoot in the morning carrying them in my hand.

I didn´t know to be scared or flattered. I chose scared and I think he noticed cause he then added;

- Me and my friends that is. They have kinda dared me to invite you in one day but I told them your way to old and way to pretty.

And then he went so red, so red, made some excuses and tumbled off. I don´t know if it was the old, or the pretty part he regretted. I was left just as tumbled as he seemed.

ph: L.S.I

2009-10-22T08:56:00.000-07:00

I don´t even think Mrs has noticed that I´m wearing her shoes. She has enough anyways. They will be more loved with me. I have today and the rest of the week off.
BN though; Mr and Mrs will be home so I need to find me some other places to play. Sucks that so much people go to school theese days. Dont stay in school kids, or you will have no time to do snow. Tonight I will be hunting with Miri. If she has one of those days when she remembers who I am. Fingers crossed.

no swineflu

2009-10-20T07:43:00.000-07:00

Eventfull nights this weekend. B-dayparty. Miss Pratt yelling at me, only to go get herself a DUI later. Good job hun. I spent the night in sheets of guilt with Ryan. What the heck was that good 4?

Tonight I´m on a boyhunt. Mental note to self; send bottle of jack to miri and ask 4 NY-forgiveness.

Love S

erotic novel

2009-10-17T09:09:00.001-07:00

My computer figured ah, to hell with it and quit on me yesterday. This my friends is a post written from Mr. Bigshots computer. I´m sitting here going through his mail inbox. Very hung over. There is a message hee from TomKats lawyers. Uh oh Mr...

What I was saying though, was hells yes Nick looked so damn good tonight. I´m not even ashamed to say I woke up next to him in a questionable pose this morning.
Not.At.All.
Thats how good he looked. He hasn´t cut his hair since I left for NY it seems, and it was all perfectly cullen-messy and sweet. Ah I´m getting all exited here. He whispered things to. Oh I don´t know how to tell you. I don´t have a way with words just yet, like some of my very well red friends. You should have heard some of the conversations towards the later hours. There was this boy there. Obviously very well red, and obviosly a lame homeschooled boy who accidentaly turned hot. He pulled some fancy quote and laughed to himself. When noone else laughed he raised his voice and almost screamed

- Ah, I guess you dont know your Jean-Jacques Bouchard?

And he kept laughing to himself until Miri found some air in the corner and quietly whispered;

- Douche, Marquis de Sade is turning in the grave with you calling his work Bouchard. Shut the fuck up.

Then she tumbles out and mumbles something about how uptight la di da´s should all be shot of. I dont know where Miri went, or Ladida-boy either. All I know is Nick makes me weak to my knees and I kinda like it.

Jeriko. Sara

yo yo yo

2009-10-16T04:39:00.000-07:00

This is F. She busted some moves for me over at her place before we went back to my last night. We met up with twenty something more and crashed the pool. She´s like sixteen or something, and already killah! Tonight I’m hoping to meet M. M hear my call. It’s already late, but I´m on my way out now, so bye my lovers, see you later.

Come on over.

2009-10-15T02:06:00.000-07:00

Good news. Mr and Mrs Bigshot is in Atlanta for three days. Seems like this night is for me, and anyone else ready to go bananas.

And btw. Bella took me on a Manhattan walk back in NY, and we passed one of the uppr east side houses of her family’s. Yes, one of them. Shit this would not hurt;

But thats enough. I have promised miri not to go on and on about ny.
I´ll try M.

What I was saying, I come on over! Pool is empty and ready for you all.

Honey I`m home

2009-10-13T00:16:00.000-07:00

I´m on my way home. Or home? I don´t know. I´m on my way back though. Back to LA. To Nick, to Ry and Miri. To my alphabet; R, D, L. Back to all my loved ones, and all my lovers, and still I´m not feeling as this is home. I have not told Mr and Mrs why I went to NY. I´m not sure I ever will if I don´t take the job. Ah if I dont take the job. Why the hell not? I would be stupid. But still.

NY has been so kind to me. BB has shown me all the secret places of hers. Small parks, the best pizza, the best vintage stores. Last night I BB fixed me a party. I argued it was to long untill Halloween, but she did not care. 20 pizzas from grimaldis, around 70 people in a three bedroom apartment. Ah BB...I love you.

I love it here, LA that is, but NY treats me like a want it to. La does not. I´m not even a car person, what the hell am I doing here? All I know is that I´m on my way back, and Ry will meet me up as soon as possible. He wants to talk. I´m not exited. I just want my Mirage, a bottle and the jaccuzzi to ourselves.

Los downtowns de east.

2009-10-12T04:45:00.000-07:00

this my friends is the wiew from bellas place. What soon may be my place. This city is making everything hard, but what makes it even harder is my mirage. I promise to write more when my internet is working. I promise to write lots and lots. Now I´m going to Brooklyn, and to BB. I love her house. Its like a motel. Or a BandB?People running everywhere. Ah my gosh.

Day, Evening, Night

2009-10-07T00:27:00.000-07:00

new york new york

2009-10-07T00:12:00.000-07:00

Am I happy? Am I? No, I´m in newyork. I´m whatever´s miles above happy on the scale. If I ignore all those practical things my mind is almost made up. I love this place.

I have been taking pictures lika a madman but the interwebs is not my friend at the moment. Ill put them up as soon as it cooperates.

Playing battleship on the plane

2009-10-05T03:45:00.000-07:00

message written yesterday

Right now I am on a plane. A plane to New York and to BB. I took the week of and now I´m on my way to think things over. Feel the town, Feel the people and maybe take a peak at the house. I´m gonna meet Bella to. Lots to do. I´ll talk to you later. Love you all. SJo

Pic from lat time in Ny.

Under some bridge

2009-10-04T07:43:00.000-07:00

Good good morning to you all.

Last night.

in the big city of lonely lights

2009-10-03T07:39:00.000-07:00

Moving to New York? Please help.

This is the deal; Same job different place. New York (Manhattan)to be precise. What do you think? It´s this other swedish girl, Bella, whom I actually sat next to on the plane to USA for the first time. I was ready to kill her since she got placed on manhattan and got phoenix, but now she called and told me she was going home. She missed her boyfriend. hahaha. gosh. But blahblahblah one thing lead to another and she recommended me to the couple she was working at, who obviously was in need of a new nanny, and they contacted my agency and so on. They called a few days ago. The only one I have mentioned this to is my miri and she was in winter wonderland making snow angels at the time so her answers were not much help.

So;
+ Soho manhattan. Does it get better in this world?
+ BB!!! My dear b would be close by.
- My LA family. My crazy forgiving family. I would miss them. I would miss Little S the most.
- My Ry,my Mirage, my W, my Nick, my s, my C... I mean i have got a whole alfabet of friends here. No more strip-kareoke, no more crazy nights licking wine from W. No more La crew.
+/-:And this celebrity thing. Well I wouldn´t climb down that ladder so to speak...

Help me. Yes/no and why.

Last time I was there BB and I went up empire state at night and I took this. Oh I do actually miss it.

HELP! / sara

Job offer

2009-10-02T04:51:00.000-07:00

Excuse my absence. I´m both very drunk and very tired. Since it is the middle of the night i shall leave you, just telling you I have big news. I have gotten a job offer in New York. Whoa. I shall tell you about it, I need your help to decide.

Love S

taken at/on/in(?) Staten Island last time I was there with BB.

Someone bang bang me

2009-09-30T12:07:00.000-07:00

I´m working and my head is killing me. Little S whants to draw but for some reason it is way more fun to draw on the table than it is to draw on paper. Oh my head is killing me. Good thing family is going away tomorrow. House free and friends for me(I hope).

Love S

Ry stop it...

2009-09-29T23:53:00.000-07:00

If you did not catch it in this post, or if you did not even try to, or if you did not read the post, I can tell you this;
Ryan has gone and convinced himself that he is in love with me. I know he is not, but this is getting to be more complicated then I imagined. He is so confused and I´m getting tired of it. Boys are not attractive when they show emotion.
I´m in love with Chuck Bass. But then who isn´t.

2009-09-29T08:15:00.000-07:00

I find it fun that people think my life is fiction. For me that is success. My whole life has been a trip towards something extraordinary. To be a part of "them" instead of "us". I thank you.

On another note; Mr.Bigshot is totally bummed right now. Apparently Mrs.Bigshot said some pretty revealing things in the interview which has been published now. I’m stealing a copy as soon as the dust settles.

Love S

(sorry for crappy spelling, it´s early)

mirage

2009-09-29T03:10:00.000-07:00

I love my mirage. Thats just what she is. A mirage from an older time.

No, not an older time actually, more like a time that never really existed, and never will. She´s a beauty. You all should read what she has to tell you.

It felt good to spend the night with someone...someone...well someone not Nick or Ry. It actually did.

Ryan is a poet indeed

2009-09-28T10:14:00.001-07:00

Ryan after a few minutes of me talking about Nick:

Ry: Do you know those see-through squiggly worms you have on your eyeballs?
Me: I do.
Ry: You are one of those worms.
Me: Oh... And how is that?
Ry: They are always there, though I can only see them when I close my eyelids, and when I try to focus on it, and look straight at it, it floats away. You S, you are only here in the middle of the night when I close my eyes and you want to fck, and then when it´s morning again, and I want to look straight at you, you float away.

silence.

Me: Have you thought about that for long?
Ry: I have, yes.
Me: And where did you get the idea?
Ry: Family guy.
Me: Family guy?
Ry: Family guy...

I think I need to spend some more time with Ry to butch him up a bit. He is going all girl on me.

"He is a keeper" / BB

2009-09-27T22:17:00.000-07:00

Is Nick not the sweetest? When I arrived he had actually moved the old pizza box from the pillow to the foot end of the bed. Prince charming indeed.

Off To NickDick

2009-09-27T13:13:00.000-07:00

From: Sara
To: NickDick

coming over. remove any food from your bed please. ill b there in ten.

W

2009-09-27T10:29:00.001-07:00

Dear winona only granted me her presence for an hour or so, but with her that’s more than enough. She has a way of keeping a room mesmerized from the second she walks in to about ten minutes after she has left. A part of that fascination is trying to figure out in which state she is. Is she in "talking deeply about literature no one here has ever even heard of even though she is drunk as hell" mode, or is she in the state of "getting naked and poring the clubs most expensive wines all over her body and making the boys lick it of". You just don´t know, so you simply pause when she enters, observes, holds your breath, and stare. Yesterday she and I talked shortly about the fact that she fucked my dear Mr.Bigshot a few years back. She tells me “I was so good that he almost cried.” hah. Winona dear.

On another note, Ry looked so damn good yesterday.

Bye B.

2009-09-26T10:08:00.000-07:00

BB is going home today. That sucks. She´s not from around you see, she lives in brooklyn new york. That lucky bastard has her parents paying for everything. Haha. Ryan asked me over later and, since there seems to be nothing better to do, those are my plans. Apparently W will be there to he says. I feel like I need to tell you about W soon.

taken somewhere round Bs place in Brook.

I do it my way.

2009-09-26T01:57:00.000-07:00

Weekend wars are here. BB is on her way and I’m wearing Mrs.Bigshot’s heels. Don´t tell on me.
It looks like there is some house party in the hills that we are setting course towards. Mr and Mrs are home today so I need to find someone else´s pool to crash. Paul Anka lives nearby. He has a good easy access pool. Haha poor Paul, but tonight it´s my way.

Helg! Inatt är huset fullt dock, så vi sätter kurs mot the hills. Hey ho lets go.

Mrs You should take that as a hint.

2009-09-25T03:52:00.000-07:00

Little S said her first word today. Sara. Mrs almost cried. Rosie laughed like crazy. This was a good day.

- DARN Sara, NOT okey!

2009-09-24T03:38:00.000-07:00

MrBigshot went bananas today. Something aboute a missed flight cause of the delayed childrensbirthdayparty that turned out to be my responibility. This job comes with extra assignments I tell you, it´s not all in the pamphlets.

Fuuuuuuck

2009-09-23T10:04:00.000-07:00

My blog and I are not friends right now. All dates seem messed upp and such. I´m deciding between fixing it or ignoring it. Right now Nick is on his way so I have at least a few hours of ignoring in front of me.

Love S

Birdsnest in my mouth

2009-09-21T13:32:00.000-07:00

I woke up with hair in my mouth, not my own it turned out. This boy laying by my side, who´s hair this was, was still asleep. Out of convenience I pretended to sleep myself when he woke, so that he could leave quietly, but when he stayed for at least half an hour I got way to curious to keep my eyes cloesed. All I can tell you is BOY did I make a good drunken mistake last night. This boy, named Nick he tells me, is the prettiest boy I have ever seen. I meen gosh. He´s having a smoke on the balcony right now, and even his back has got that je ne sais qua . Nick is my new dick.

Jag vaknade bredvid en pojke idag, utan några minnen av hur detta hände, men jag kan inte säga att jag ångrar mig. Han är något av det vackrate jag sett.

Som BB sa; Is nick your new dick?
Det är han verkligen.

guilty pleasures

2009-09-17T10:01:00.000-07:00

Mr.bigshot is out of town and took ladyactor with him. My fave time of the month. It gives time for my very favorite pastimes like goin´ trough Mr.bigshots computer, drinking his wines (way to nice to be wasted on me) and skinnydipping in the pool. His L-top password is way too easy. Childs name x2 + pet name. I find lots of nice stuff on there to, he has got the mail inbox of my dreams. Leo Cap, Beckhams and Ryders. This reading is better than sex, and he´s had sex with half the people in the valley.
And he´s got this thing you see, googeling his own name. We’ve all done it, I know, but I mean like twice every day. Extra fun though is when he googles “Mr.Bigshot naked” “Mr.Bigshot sextape” “Mr.Bigshot sexy photos” and so on. I mean ha.ha.ha. I better watch my toung.

För att vara känd är Mr väldigt godtrogen. Han litar på mig och lämnar alltid datorn hemma när familjen åker. Han borde veta bättre. haha. Kollar man läget på hans "historik" är det oändliga googlingar på hans eget namn följt av sextape, hot, sexy photos och så vidare. hahaha. Jag får akta vad jag skriver.

enter Ryan

2009-09-16T13:08:00.000-07:00

Remember Mr and Mrs are out of town? Kids brought with them? Well that means I´m alone and that means texting Ryan over. Ryan is bananas, smells like the mensdepartment at macys and kisses you in places you never knew you wanted to be kissed.

Huset står tomt och Rosie vet att det är bäst att hålla sig borta då. Hon är lixom min medbrottsling. Love her. Aja, Jag tänkte messa över Ryan. Jag är i behov av lite Ry.

one familymember less today

2009-09-16T10:12:00.001-07:00

Mrs.actorlady is gone for some interviews today, ergo Mr.Bigshot is extra friendly.
- Where is Sara at? I hear him say. Is she not in today? She works today right? ROSIE?
Rosie just mumbles all familyguy-y.
- Oh there you are littlest, He says when he finds me.
Clearly glad that the kids and I are bathing. Clearly appreciative of the small clothes needed for the occasion. Clearly liking the way things work out for him some days. I´m glad for you Mr.Bigshot. You should give me a raise, just as I give you one.

Idag är FrökenFamous borta och gör intervjuer för tidningar, vilket leder till Mr. Bigshots överdrivet glada humör. Han uppskattar helt klart mitt och barnens val av aktivitet idag, Kanske uppskattar han mer kläderna/bristen på kläder det för med sig.