i am 19 goin on 20

godkväll.

It´s like, what, a week 2 my b-day? Things are all good with Avy now and I have lovely Belle with me for a few more days. Things are good 2 me. This weekend we will all dance in snow my friends. Who´s with me? Jackson is, Luke is, Avy is,Ryan is, Signe is, BB is, Kim is, Miri is, Nick is, Aurora is, Wynona is. I could go on, I´m a lucky gurl u see, but ill leave it there.

All I really wanted 2 say is I feel really happy 2day. And that, 4 my party, I´ll dress up like this girl.

doppelw

Bells is going home soon she says. She won´t be here for my birthday.
So, instead, we went out 2day to find a location for it. Since I, at the moment, am a couch crasher without a place to have some sort of fiesta, we went hunting.

First stop, the liquor store.
Belle wanted plum wine. She goes nowhere without her plum wine she says.
Second stop, the hollywood sign.
2 get a good view u know. It´s a restricted area and whatnow now, so sad.

A few hundred yards below the W we parked our butts and watched the city turning dark. Day became night and we started to feel like this isn´t so bad after all. Quite all right. And just like that we had our place.

Now all I have 2 do is get the troops together.

In a hurry

U know what i just realized? In a few little days I´m turning 20.

That´s so old.

If I´m going 2 go down in history I have only 4 years until I´ll have to commit suicide.
But maybe I need 2 do something memorable first?

Bffs.

Signe went to Avys house 2day with a box of sweets from the coffee shop earlier. I really wanted to follow but I don´t know if that would have been the best idea. R is gone btw. This all turned out like shit.

I think I´ll go over 2 Jackson. He doesn´t even know I´m back. I miss him. The world has 2 few people who´s as uncomplicated and down-to-earth as he is. No drama. Just friendship.

Tell me. Who´s your best friend. And why?

Bloody beetroot

Tomorrow I think I´m gonna go look 4 a place of my own. I don´t know if it´s loyalty 2 Avy or if she is still mourning Alexander, but Miri has been quite grumpy lately. Almost never present actually. I miss her.

Ignoring the other things going on right now, things feel almost good. Coachella is coming up, and that will be amazing as always. Summer might not be the happening here that it is in the countries covered in snow 2/3 of the year, but summer is still summer. After Coachella though, my pages are almost blank. What are u all doin this summer? I need inspiration.

Love the arts.

This makes me happy.

on paper street

Now, when everything is upside down, and I can´t really meet my friends eyes without wondering who thinks I´m an idiot, where do I look for comfort? R. I know his name now. If that can be considered progress I´m not even sure. I should have said goodbye the minute I found out. He will be R to you all. And he is probably the last one I should turn to.

I keep thinking of the time at the party when Miri kissed Avy. Now that she reminded me, he did look awfully pale. I can´t help but wondering if I´m just some form of revenge. I really don´t know what to do. I barely know him and he already has some kind of hold on me. I feel I have no one to turn 2 since I´m what you would call the bad guy in this. I would turn 2 Miri, since her philosophy goes something like;

-Does he have good hair?
-He does.
-Does he wear sneakers?
-He does not.
Does he smoke?
-He does.
-Then what is the question meine liebe?
But I´m not sure she will be on my side this time.
Last day of work this week. Then a weekend to fill.

oh shit

Damn it. I think B-actor really was a B-oyfriend.

4 in the morning he randomly passed by M´s house and threw pebbles on my window. I stole a kiss from him. Stood five inches from his face and thought "damn it where do I know you from?". Then it hit me.

And the worst thing; I´m not ready 2 let go of him, even when I have learned he belongs 2 a friend.

paul? eddie? frank?

B-actor boy came by the shop earlier and invited me out for a smoke. We discussed all things of no importance there is. He´s the type of boy I really can´t help falling for, even though I understand I´m only one of so many in his life.

But here is the thing; "Adios Sarah" he threw at me when he was leaving, and I responded with a "Bye......eh....bye!". I have forgotten 2 ask his name guys! And it´s 2 far in now, it would just be weird to ask him. Quite the problem. Signe has started a giant google-investigation 2 find him. No progress so far, but she is damn determent.

So, what are your plans 4 the day friends? Noting or everything? Either way I hope u have the best one:)

Love Sjo

boys and work, boys and work

First day of the job a boy walked in to the shop. I think I recognize him but I can´t place him, like so many of the B-celebs round here. Anyways, he left his phone number on a napkin on his table, like in one of the bad movies he possibly stars in, and we have been texting ever since. He such a charming boy u see. One of them you will fall 4 over and over. Like Agyness Deyn.

I´m off 2 work now. I´m really enjoying it. Long coffee brakes sitting next to Signe on the curb with a smoke in the hand, rating guys passing by on a 1-10 scale and looking for some blond woman she is determent to find. Have a lovely day all.

Be/spe-lled

m and random gurl at the russian party.

Some of u asked me where I live right now. Well, since I came back I´ve been living here and there, wherever and with whom ever let´s me in. Mostly at Miri´s place. Now you know.

Back when I was 13 I spent the summer in London. Dad worked, and I spent the days running the streets, smoking cigarettes for the first time and learning english; with Belle. She taught me how to kiss a boy, how to get free beer from the drunk men at the pubs, and how to get a free ride from the cabdrivers late at night. Belle is here now, in LA 2 visit her father, and I´m going 2 meet up with her today. I´m almost nervous.

working gurl

I got flowers 2day. Ignoring the fact that the person who sent them obviously didn´t pay much attention 2 the date, it was nice. I forgive, we are all in some kind of LA-fog here, where days and weeks all turn in 2 one long night. So thank you mysterious flowerperson.

And also!
I have a job now. Thank heavens 4 Signe and Flora, a 9 to 5 at a coffee shop and I couldn´t be happier. Like Signe said; we all must have anecdotes from when we worked at a coffee place later when we are famous. It´s nice 2 have someone to talk swedish 2 as well. Tack kära Signe, and thank you all with thumbs held.

belled

Miri and I are trying 2 reach Belle, who should land at LAX any minute now. Miri is walking around "saluting the dead" in all the McQueen clothes she owns. Her first, His last. And I, I might have a job by the end of the day. Fingers crossed.

happyland

If u have any thumbs over, please hold them for me. Today is official jobhuntingday and I need all the help I can get.

Jeans for the first time in years.

Blue

I´m in desperate need of a job. My days and nights are floating together in a blur and I see less of Miri then I would have wished. Fill my days please.

Signe though she could get me a job at the coffeshop but that no sure thing. I´m feeling a bit low right now. I do blogdesigns and banners and such if you want to keep me occupied.

For free. Feel free 2 ask.

I think I saw Jackson yesterday btw. I hope.

Love SJo

Late night thoughts.

Marriage is a social union or legal contract between individuals that creates kinship.

That´s what wikipedia tells me. I was talking to M about marriage and such. 2 her it´s the most non romantic thing there could ever be. She says it destroys her every chance of running away with a french man (in her mind, that is the definition of romance.)

I´m not sure yet. Speaking of marriage I slept with Spencer Pratt once. Before he had H. I don´t know why she´s so crazy bananas into him. He´s not that big of a deal I tell u. Neither way.

Whats marriage to you?

Avy

I´m home. Tillbaks där jag hör hemma.

Miri met me at LAX.
Not lying Miri, u must have lost ten pounds since I left. And 4 a girl who was like ten pounds to start with that shows. You can´t live on snow only meine liebe. It felt like I would snap u right off when I hugged you.

She seemed unusually upbeat though.

- We r goin home to Avy tonight. She said.
- Who´s Avy? I asked.
- She loves plum wine almost as much as I do.
She answers, like that was all I needed to know.

Boys kissed. Girls Kissed. Miri kissed Avy and someone went home in an ambulance I think. I met a girl named Signe and she´s my new love. I did fuck a boy who was missing one tooth from a trip to alaska, but she´s my new love.

So I´m home. Or I really don´t have a home rightnow, but that´s when a Miri with an attic comes in handy.