Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Someone bang bang me

I´m working and my head is killing me. Little S whants to draw but for some reason it is way more fun to draw on the table than it is to draw on paper. Oh my head is killing me. Good thing family is going away tomorrow. House free and friends for me(I hope).

Love S

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Ry stop it...

If you did not catch it in this post, or if you did not even try to, or if you did not read the post, I can tell you this;
Ryan has gone and convinced himself that he is in love with me. I know he is not, but this is getting to be more complicated then I imagined. He is so confused and I´m getting tired of it. Boys are not attractive when they show emotion.
I´m in love with Chuck Bass. But then who isn´t.
I find it fun that people think my life is fiction. For me that is success. My whole life has been a trip towards something extraordinary. To be a part of "them" instead of "us". I thank you.

On another note; Mr.Bigshot is totally bummed right now. Apparently Mrs.Bigshot said some pretty revealing things in the interview which has been published now. I’m stealing a copy as soon as the dust settles.

Love S

(sorry for crappy spelling, it´s early)


I love my mirage. Thats just what she is. A mirage from an older time.

No, not an older time actually, more like a time that never really existed, and never will. She´s a beauty. You all should read what she has to tell you.

It felt good to spend the night with someone...someone...well someone not Nick or Ry. It actually did.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Ryan is a poet indeed

Ryan after a few minutes of me talking about Nick:

Ry: Do you know those see-through squiggly worms you have on your eyeballs?
Me: I do.
Ry: You are one of those worms.
Me: Oh... And how is that?
Ry: They are always there, though I can only see them when I close my eyelids, and when I try to focus on it, and look straight at it, it floats away. You S, you are only here in the middle of the night when I close my eyes and you want to fck, and then when it´s morning again, and I want to look straight at you, you float away.


Me: Have you thought about that for long?
Ry: I have, yes.
Me: And where did you get the idea?
Ry: Family guy.
Me: Family guy?
Ry: Family guy...

I think I need to spend some more time with Ry to butch him up a bit. He is going all girl on me.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

"He is a keeper" / BB

Is Nick not the sweetest? When I arrived he had actually moved the old pizza box from the pillow to the foot end of the bed. Prince charming indeed.

Off To NickDick

From: Sara
To: NickDick

coming over. remove any food from your bed please. ill b there in ten.


Dear winona only granted me her presence for an hour or so, but with her that’s more than enough. She has a way of keeping a room mesmerized from the second she walks in to about ten minutes after she has left. A part of that fascination is trying to figure out in which state she is. Is she in "talking deeply about literature no one here has ever even heard of even though she is drunk as hell" mode, or is she in the state of "getting naked and poring the clubs most expensive wines all over her body and making the boys lick it of". You just don´t know, so you simply pause when she enters, observes, holds your breath, and stare. Yesterday she and I talked shortly about the fact that she fucked my dear Mr.Bigshot a few years back. She tells me “I was so good that he almost cried.” hah. Winona dear.

On another note, Ry looked so damn good yesterday.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Bye B.

BB is going home today. That sucks. She´s not from around you see, she lives in brooklyn new york. That lucky bastard has her parents paying for everything. Haha. Ryan asked me over later and, since there seems to be nothing better to do, those are my plans. Apparently W will be there to he says. I feel like I need to tell you about W soon.

taken somewhere round Bs place in Brook.

I do it my way.

Weekend wars are here. BB is on her way and I’m wearing Mrs.Bigshot’s heels. Don´t tell on me.
It looks like there is some house party in the hills that we are setting course towards. Mr and Mrs are home today so I need to find someone else´s pool to crash. Paul Anka lives nearby. He has a good easy access pool. Haha poor Paul, but tonight it´s my way.

Helg! Inatt är huset fullt dock, så vi sätter kurs mot the hills. Hey ho lets go.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Mrs You should take that as a hint.

Little S said her first word today. Sara. Mrs almost cried. Rosie laughed like crazy. This was a good day.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

- DARN Sara, NOT okey!

MrBigshot went bananas today. Something aboute a missed flight cause of the delayed childrensbirthdayparty that turned out to be my responibility. This job comes with extra assignments I tell you, it´s not all in the pamphlets.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


My blog and I are not friends right now. All dates seem messed upp and such. I´m deciding between fixing it or ignoring it. Right now Nick is on his way so I have at least a few hours of ignoring in front of me.

Love S

Monday, September 21, 2009

Birdsnest in my mouth

I woke up with hair in my mouth, not my own it turned out. This boy laying by my side, who´s hair this was, was still asleep. Out of convenience I pretended to sleep myself when he woke, so that he could leave quietly, but when he stayed for at least half an hour I got way to curious to keep my eyes cloesed. All I can tell you is BOY did I make a good drunken mistake last night. This boy, named Nick he tells me, is the prettiest boy I have ever seen. I meen gosh. He´s having a smoke on the balcony right now, and even his back has got that je ne sais qua . Nick is my new dick.

Jag vaknade bredvid en pojke idag, utan några minnen av hur detta hände, men jag kan inte säga att jag ångrar mig. Han är något av det vackrate jag sett.
Som BB sa; Is nick your new dick?
Det är han verkligen.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

guilty pleasures

Mr.bigshot is out of town and took ladyactor with him. My fave time of the month. It gives time for my very favorite pastimes like goin´ trough Mr.bigshots computer, drinking his wines (way to nice to be wasted on me) and skinnydipping in the pool. His L-top password is way too easy. Childs name x2 + pet name. I find lots of nice stuff on there to, he has got the mail inbox of my dreams. Leo Cap, Beckhams and Ryders. This reading is better than sex, and he´s had sex with half the people in the valley.
And he´s got this thing you see, googeling his own name. We’ve all done it, I know, but I mean like twice every day. Extra fun though is when he googles “Mr.Bigshot naked” “Mr.Bigshot sextape” “Mr.Bigshot sexy photos” and so on. I mean ha.ha.ha. I better watch my toung.

För att vara känd är Mr väldigt godtrogen. Han litar på mig och lämnar alltid datorn hemma när familjen åker. Han borde veta bättre. haha. Kollar man läget på hans "historik" är det oändliga googlingar på hans eget namn följt av sextape, hot, sexy photos och så vidare. hahaha. Jag får akta vad jag skriver.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

enter Ryan

Remember Mr and Mrs are out of town? Kids brought with them? Well that means I´m alone and that means texting Ryan over. Ryan is bananas, smells like the mensdepartment at macys and kisses you in places you never knew you wanted to be kissed.

Huset står tomt och Rosie vet att det är bäst att hålla sig borta då. Hon är lixom min medbrottsling. Love her. Aja, Jag tänkte messa över Ryan. Jag är i behov av lite Ry.

one familymember less today

Mrs.actorlady is gone for some interviews today, ergo Mr.Bigshot is extra friendly.
- Where is Sara at? I hear him say. Is she not in today? She works today right? ROSIE?
Rosie just mumbles all familyguy-y.
- Oh there you are littlest, He says when he finds me.
Clearly glad that the kids and I are bathing. Clearly appreciative of the small clothes needed for the occasion. Clearly liking the way things work out for him some days. I´m glad for you Mr.Bigshot. You should give me a raise, just as I give you one.

Idag är FrökenFamous borta och gör intervjuer för tidningar, vilket leder till Mr. Bigshots överdrivet glada humör. Han uppskattar helt klart mitt och barnens val av aktivitet idag, Kanske uppskattar han mer kläderna/bristen på kläder det för med sig.

“Pretty horses make you fall"

I stole me a bottle of some red wine from Mr.Bigshots wine cellar. It probably cost something six-numbered, but I liked the pony on the label and took it to get BB drunk yesterday. She on the other hand brought me some absolute to celebrate my heritage and got me even drunker. It’s an old tradition of ours. She won last night’s round. I woke up on the rug with a hobo hair due. That rug gets the laid I tell you. More than Ryan probably. Hehe.

På grund av vem-kan-få-vem-fullast traditionen jag och BB har snodde jag mig en flaska vin ur källaren igår. Jag gick på etiketten och valde en med en polle på - man ska gå på magkänsla. BB valde dock en absolut och jag vaknade med håret i en så kallad luffarkaka på mattan. haha. Hon är inte bra för mig.

beachboy continued

It seems beachboy has a thing for white. He told me it was the only virginal thing about him and licked his lips. I looked at him in an”eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh” kinda way and left to find BB. She was upstairs they told me. I know better then to disturb upstairs. I´ve seen images that will haunt me until I die. Just saying – BB and to navy-boys in little S´s room. Im so so sorry little S. I really am.

Standpojken visade sig vara precis så nasty jag trodde. BB uppskattade dock kvällen...


I took the kiddos to the beach today. Big fun and whatnot. Little S dug herself a hole, crept in to it, and I let her sister fill it up. Sometimes she makes me wonder. Boy with white bathing-shorts invited me to a housewarming in santa mon. I called BB and ask whether to laugh at his see-trough shortshorts or accept. She told me that her intimates were in desperate need of strangers’ intimates, whether in boratbathingsuit or not, and to say yes to whatever. I gracefully accepted.

Idag tog jag med mig småttingarna till stranden. Pojkarna brukar låta en vara när man har tre småglin med sig men jag lyckades dra på mig en sliskig man i läskigt genomskinliga speedos ändå. Efter ett samtal med BB som tydligen har någon slags torka tackade jag ja. Vatusan.

a fix and I´m ready for Mr.Bigshots return

The fam comes home today. Happy happy hello to them. I have an hour in front of me full of removing fluids that Rosie refuses to go near. Damn Rosie, it´s your job ffs… Sometimes I wonder why Mr and Mrs never ask why their sheets are always changed when they return. Bless Rosie for shutting her mouth.

Idag är det dags för familjens return vilket betyder att jag måste städa upp efter mig. Inte mitt jobb men vissa vätskor vägrar Rosie gå nära. haha. Mr and Mrs har iaf ännu inte frågat varför deras lakan alltid bytts när de kommer tillbaka. Jag håller mig i bakgrunden och ler helt enkelt.

Ryans dad

I met Ryan´s dad today. He´s very convinced that Ry and I are just friends cause I´m not the up to Ryan´s standards. I´m "just the help" you know. Therefore he likes me. We all know differently though don’t we. I´m very up to Ryans standards. Just last night I was up to his standards actually. In the Jacuzzi. I always feel kinda grossed out when I see the kids play there a day after a showdown of mine. It´s just not right in so many ways. What I was saying though, was up yours Ryan’s dad. I´m up to standards and more.

Sprang på ryans pappa idag. Även om han inte gillar någon tjej i Ryans omgivning har han inget emot mig. Anledning: Han tror inte att Ryan skulle sänka sig till min nivå. haha. Jag är ju bara en "help". Up yours Ryans pappa du skulle bara veta.

mess is made

I woke up with yesterdays face stamped to Mr and Mrs fancy pillows. Seems Ryan decided my bed wasn’t enough. I have distant memories of a few others joining us and I can´t be sure these are R´s bodyfluids all over me. I need a shower.
I think I just remember J doing number one in the pool. I think I´ll invite him back for a swim later today.

Jag vaknade i Mrs and Mrs säng idag. Ojdå. Ryan verkar inte tyckt att min säng räckte till. Flertalet andra kom över igår också om jag inte minns helt fel. Jag måste ducha.

The game

I´ve got a bag - a prada - and I’m gonna give it to one of you all. Maybe if you would be all nosey and all it´s not 100% mine, but belongs to the Mrs in the house, but I kinda got it. (She gave it to me in a not so sober state of mind. She won’t miss it.) All you need to do is tell me who I work for. That’s all. Easy peasy. Simple as getting a Carter in bed. (Nick has gone all beerbelly on me though...) Just check in every once in a while for clues, and the first one to guess correctly wins the pretty pretty prada. It´s helps to bloglove if you don´t wanna miss anything.

How the heck would we guess that right might you ask? Well you see, they are quite the famous couple. I mean if you’re not completely tard you know of them. I promise, they are hollywood-bigshots.

So, hit me with your best shot ladies and gents. Let´s gogogo!

Såhär är det. Jag har en väska, en Prada, som jag fått av Mrs. Jag tänkte såhär, att eftersom jag, såklart, inte kan namedroppa paret jag jobbar hos så får ni gissa. Gissa rätt och väskan blir din. Ni undrar säkert hur i helvete ni ska kunna gissa vem jag jobbar hos, men jag kan tala om så mkt att det gör ni. Kan gissa alltså. Är ni inte helt efterblivna inom nöjesvärlden vet ni vilka de är. Jag lovar. Dom är hollywood-bigshots. Kollar ni in lite då och då blir det ju såklart lättare, så bloglovin´a for gods sake. Kom igen nu svennar, gissa. Jag hejjar lite på er.

how I got here

Welcome to Fame.

I left Sweden a few back. I´m still a swede on paper and all that but nm, I´m as american you can be in heart. I left to Au Pair and ended up in Phoenix of all damn places. Fuckin phoenix arizona I tell you. Phix is probably as different from sweden as it gets, with all their inland ideas and whatnot, and my fam was as different from swedes as anyone sane can be. Doubtfull if these crazys were sane though.


There was Laura with hair high enough to qualify her as a bballer. I tell you, shoot her and there will be no more global warming issues. It’s a miracle that her constant money withdrawal has not gotten her gunned to the ground by her dear hubby all ready though. Billyboy would have been my number one suspect if we one day woke up and found Laura splattered all over the walls. I´d just give him an apreciative pad on the back and leave quietly. There three kids were as good as anyone could be being raised (until my blessed arrival) by the couple from love and marriage: they were nasty nasty children. Long story short I slowly but surely went bananas and had to leave. New fam new city a few times, slowly making my way west. Then, finally LA. I´m not gonna jab out bout my new family just yet though, I want to play a game with you all.

What I was saying was welcome. Welcome to me, to LA, to gossip and to fame.